The Last Kiss

From the movie "The Last Kiss", was a memorable line from Tom Wilkinson's character, on the issue of love:-

"What you feel, only matters to you. It's what you do, to the people you say you love - that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts".

Ponder upon that for a while - you'll be surprised.

Shades of Gray

Do life always filled with black and white answers? Or right and wrong answers? See the funny thing about life is that when you take a hard look you find that there are many shades of gray. Sometimes those shades are helpful. Sometimes those are the moments in which you find the brightest colors and sometimes it is where the darkness hides.

Bangau oh bangau

It’s been past a week from my awesome 10 days Mulu trip. All the pain and bruises has gone :-) It was one of the most challenging, exciting, fun and tough journey I had. I’m glad I did it before I get older and older. The trip was not a cup of tea for me… but I know its worth all the pain and effort. Now, I’m still in the office… I need to catch up things… and clear up my table before its get worst. Will upload the photo soon :-)

Do you know how we sometimes find excuses and blame when things do not go our way? Remember that rhyme we use to learn when we were small, "Bangau oh Bangau, kenapa engkau kurus? Macam mana aku tak kurus, ikan tidak timbul. Ikan oh Ikan kenapa kau tak timbul? Macam mana aku nak timbul, rumput panjang sangat. Rumput oh rumput kenapa panjang sangat? Macam mana aku tak panjang kerbau tak makan aku. Kerbau oh kerbau kenapa tak makan rumput? Macam mana aku nak makan, perut aku sakit" ...and so the story goes. See how we tend to find excuses, blame and finger point? So, when we give excuses, it’s called “bangau-ing”.

It takes strength to choose to stop being a victim and accept responsibility of my own actions. The truth is, I’m very well know whatever reasons or excuses (i.e. Bangau) i give can be solved and that there are many choices and ways to solve the problem. But I just choose to keep on mem – bangau sahaja…

So, now…I’m trying so hard to stop mem-bangau, take charge, get it done and move on. Somehow Mulu trip has inspired me to stop mem-bangau. Good luck Sue dan Bangaunya :-D !

A Place Called Home

Have you ever been in a situation where you should be happy but you’re not?. I’ve been trying so hard to be so called "happy" but deep down inside, I feel miserable….

May I have the strength to begin with :-)

OK.. MOVE ON… NEXT

Here is the lyric of a song that I fell in love with.. by Jaclyn Victor and Same Same, Without You. Loved it so much. It puts a smile on my face and brightens up my day. Walla….


The first time I saw you, I knew
I knew I loved you 'cause my heart stopped
The first time I held you, I knew
I knew I love you 'cause my heart stopped

'Cause I.. la la la la la la
Love You..

Love can make you feel so funny
No house, no car, not even money
Will make me feel the way
What I’m really trying to say
Can’t live another day
Without you

The first time I kissed you I knew
I knew I had you 'cause your heart stopped
The first time I missed you I knew
I knew I never wanna leave you

Love can make you feel so funny
No house, no car, not even money
Will make me feel the way
What I’m really trying to say
Can’t live another day
Without you

'Cause I.. la la la la la la
Love You..

Because I.. la la la
Love You.. Love You..
--------------------------------------------------
I think I’ve let myself being vulnerable again…

Yaaamm Seeeng

Wedding...oh wedding... what it is about wedding that makes me tired. Its not that i hate wedding... but most of the time i feel fake.. don't know why... But of course I do want to celebrate their love To my beloved friend,

in love did you fall

dating, proposals, rehearsals

and a wedding to follow

may bliss shine down upon you

and give you peace

may you keep your word close to your heart,

as you walk the path of matrimony

...................................................................

who's next?

cotton candy

People ask me: “Do you have a boyfriend?”
I would ponder and tell them no.
And they’d ask me why.
And I’d always say: “I’m enjoying my single life.”
If I were to be honest, I would have said: “I don’t know why.” And that’d be the truth.
I admit that I can fancy people easily. But I don’t easily fall in love. Liking someone, is not loving someone. It’s just not the same.
What do I look for in a guy? They would ask. Questions, questions…
Well, fundamentally, I just want someone who would want to be part of my world, I guess. My strange and peculiar world. Someone who can make me wants to be part of his world too. It’s about sharing not owning... (i know i sound absurd)
Now I’m scared. I’ve always been scared. And I’m sick of that.
“Scared of what?” You ask.
I’m scared of being hurt once more. Scared that I’m being hurt by something that was actually never meant to be. Scared of the one I might fall for, and end up being disappointed. I’m scared that all I thought to be true……were just mere lies…
I’m scared of my imagination, for it can run so wild beyond your imagination.
If that last truth was true…then above all…I fear that he stopped loving me, because of a stupid misunderstanding, a stupid mistake, and because…because… arghhhh

Goodbye & Welcome

It’s here. 2007. The New Year ... again.

As the thought finally hit me earlier today, looking back, I couldn’t help but feel that 2006 had passed surprisingly quickly. Break-ups, family troubles, financial issues, health problems … it was all there. Yet…I resigned myself to think that 2006 wouldn’t be the worst year of my life.

I don’t have any resolution for this year. Does that mean I’m not giving a commitment towards my own life? Am I afraid to explore what is out there for me? Or is it my very own power that I’m afraid to trust?

Happy New Year my dear friends !
Mon, 1/1/07

I......

I am: happy to be me :-)

I know: that I am very blessed and fortunate

I want: scuba diving vacation

I wish: I have more money & time...*sigh*

I hate: mean people

I miss: you :-)

I fear: that people I care about don't know how strongly I feel about them

I feel: a little bit lost

I crave: chocolate and ice cream

I wonder: what will happen in the future

I pretend: that I'm tall by wearing 2 inch heels

I regret: but I know that I shouldn't because you can't change the past

I love: being in love

I long: to have a happy family one day

I care: about how others feel

I always: obsess with pink colour

I am not: ready to be vulnerable.. again

I believe: in Allah

I promise: to keep my promises

I dance: like nobody watching

I sing: in the car

I cry: when someone hurts my feelings

I am not always: right

I fight: sometimes when it isn't necessary

I write: long letter to myself

I try: to apologize whenever I am wrong

I confuse: myself

I listen: to a friend in need

I can usually be found: in the office :-p

I hide: from the boogie monster

I am scared: to the unknown

I need: a hug

I expect: people to be polite to me when I am polite to them

I still: think about the funny moments that tickle me when I think about them

I can't: be a superwomen

I procastinate : my swimming lesson

I should: take the risk

Elephant - Up, Close and Personal Experience

Goshh… it was fun, exciting and enjoyable day… and my many thanks goes to all the elephants at Kuala Gandah Elephant Conversation Center, Lanchang, Pahang (it’s the hub for the translocation program of asian elephants in Malaysia).

After the feeding session, me and Alyssa (linda daughter) took the opportunities to ride the elephant down to the river. The elephant’s keeper shouts few commands to the elephant and in the split second the elephant “throw” us inside the river and we scream out loud.. feeling scared and delights at the same time. Experiencing the joy of having bathed with the elephants is a WOW. That’s how I can conclude it in a word.

Check out the elephant at http://www.myelephants.org/

My deepest appreciation also goes to all the personnel for being such a giver

How Perfect is Your Life?

I tried this quiz and based on the result, my life is quite perfect... ha..ha... but i'm still searching for my Mr. Imperfect that is perfect for me.... Hello Mr. Imperfect.. Where are you???

Your Life is 72% Perfect

Your life is pretty darn perfect. You don't have much to complain about.Of course, your life is occasionally less than perfect. But you're usually too happy to notice.