I......

I am: happy to be me :-)

I know: that I am very blessed and fortunate

I want: scuba diving vacation

I wish: I have more money & time...*sigh*

I hate: mean people

I miss: you :-)

I fear: that people I care about don't know how strongly I feel about them

I feel: a little bit lost

I crave: chocolate and ice cream

I wonder: what will happen in the future

I pretend: that I'm tall by wearing 2 inch heels

I regret: but I know that I shouldn't because you can't change the past

I love: being in love

I long: to have a happy family one day

I care: about how others feel

I always: obsess with pink colour

I am not: ready to be vulnerable.. again

I believe: in Allah

I promise: to keep my promises

I dance: like nobody watching

I sing: in the car

I cry: when someone hurts my feelings

I am not always: right

I fight: sometimes when it isn't necessary

I write: long letter to myself

I try: to apologize whenever I am wrong

I confuse: myself

I listen: to a friend in need

I can usually be found: in the office :-p

I hide: from the boogie monster

I am scared: to the unknown

I need: a hug

I expect: people to be polite to me when I am polite to them

I still: think about the funny moments that tickle me when I think about them

I can't: be a superwomen

I procastinate : my swimming lesson

I should: take the risk

Elephant - Up, Close and Personal Experience

Goshh… it was fun, exciting and enjoyable day… and my many thanks goes to all the elephants at Kuala Gandah Elephant Conversation Center, Lanchang, Pahang (it’s the hub for the translocation program of asian elephants in Malaysia).

After the feeding session, me and Alyssa (linda daughter) took the opportunities to ride the elephant down to the river. The elephant’s keeper shouts few commands to the elephant and in the split second the elephant “throw” us inside the river and we scream out loud.. feeling scared and delights at the same time. Experiencing the joy of having bathed with the elephants is a WOW. That’s how I can conclude it in a word.

Check out the elephant at http://www.myelephants.org/

My deepest appreciation also goes to all the personnel for being such a giver

How Perfect is Your Life?

I tried this quiz and based on the result, my life is quite perfect... ha..ha... but i'm still searching for my Mr. Imperfect that is perfect for me.... Hello Mr. Imperfect.. Where are you???

Your Life is 72% Perfect

Your life is pretty darn perfect. You don't have much to complain about.Of course, your life is occasionally less than perfect. But you're usually too happy to notice.

Selasa bersama Morrie

Book Blessing: Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albon

It was humbling, this book can teach anyone how to live life without the fear of death, or how to live life knowing full well we're gonna die soon.

My favorite part of this book

• "Well, how can you do that if you’re detached?“Ah. You’re thinking, Mitch. But detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That’s how you are able to leave it... If I hold back on the emotions – if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them – you can never get to being detached; you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, “all right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.”
• we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don’t let those tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don’t say anything because we’re frozen with the fear of what those words might do to the relationship
• "i've learned this much about marriage. You get tested. You find out who you are, who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don't.
  
  Is there some kind of rule to know if a marriage is going to work?
  
  Things are not simple, Mitch. Still, he said. 'There are a few rules i know to be true about love and marriage:
  If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.
  If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.
  If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.
  And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.
  And the biggest one of those value.... your belief in the importance of your marriage"

I saw his new book on the shelf... "For one More Day". It will be my next book to read.. after I’ve finish reading my current book lah of course. Happy reading!

Cinta - The Movie

Cinta: A Malaysian rendition of “Love Actually”

5 most impressive things about cinta

1. Great cinematography... seperti di dlm iklan
2. Refreshing… tidak meleret-leret… bla…bla…bla
3. It’s kind of weird… but ngasrizal ngasri is a great supporting actor in this movie… being indecisive grandson.. torn btw love, responsibility and situation.
4. Rashidi ishak… hey! he can act.. as a loving, hopeless romantic but heartbroken husband due to his wife's affair with another man. I’m surprised. He’s not a kayu anymore.. wah!
5. Story-wise - of the 5 stories, I felt that "sepenuh jiwa" played by rashidi and rita rudani is the best

5 less impressive things about cinta

1. I felt they are trying too hard. Simple things can also create deep impact to the audience. Use more is less formula… cewah mcm bagus
2. Love between Eizlan & fasha is like love in the fairy land…the romantic dinner with musician and diamond ring as an expression of love. I felt it was a bit much
3. Oh Pierre andre… please …no more shy and aloof kind of guy. Stop being the shoulder to cry on for pretty girl… You need a change!
4. Kind of mixed personality and inconsistency in arianna - sh. amani character… didn’t really get her… what a waste
5. What’s wrong with khalif?? So kayu and emotionless. kelakar lah

If you believe in love, there are plenty of reasons to celebrate love in this film. Enjoy!

P/s: I love being in love. Doesn’t everybody? It’s the loving that demands so much of a person.

Prayers for Mom…

As she walk towards the registration lane, i feel part of me is falling into pieces. Suddenly, she turns back and search for a familiar faces. From far, I waved my hand up high but she couldn’t see me. I still remember the look and I can’t stop thinking.. what if this is the last time I saw her.

When my world change, when my world falling apart and when my world seems full of confusion, hatred and disappointment, one thing that I am very sure off… my mom’s love …remain unchanged, unmovable and forever… (no matter how screw up I am.)

Mom, my prayers are always for you. Have a safe journey and may Allah be with you, always.

I miss you.

photo by: esam

The Four Stages of Grief

AKA: How Much Longer Until I Feel Good Again?
by Laura Dawn Lewis

Definition of Grief:
The emotional depiction of great loss accompanied by a sense of hopelessness, anguish, denial, anger and confusion.

Stage 1: Denial
Denial can happen in two ways, either it's that nagging little voice in the back of your mind that keeps telling you that it’s time to get out of the relationship and you keep it gagged, making excuses and rationalizing why you need to stay. Or, the object of your affection has left, stopped calling, stood you up repeatedly, not invited you to important events…basically, you are abandoned emotionally or physically. The hard thing about denial is you deny your in it.

Stage 2: Depression

Okay, you admit it. It’s over and you know he/she isn't coming back, ever. The depression phase is about extremes. Suddenly, life feels like it’s over. The sun has stopped shinning. You’re in a daze and the pain and agony are so overwhelming you cannot remember the last time you smiled. Your bad habits become amplified. If you smoke, you smoke more. If you drink, you now want to be drunk and you may eat constantly or not at all. Mostly, life is full of malaise and even routine tasks become drudgery, while work nearly impossible or an obsession. When you finally admit it's over, the hardest part of grief begins: depression.

Stage 3: Anger

Rejoice! If you are feeling anger toward your ex, you are almost home free. This is the final stage that takes some work getting through but it also means that soon you’ll be back to your old self again. Anger is a familiar emotion to men; as a man you have little difficulty in expressing it because society accepts anger from you. Women on the other hand have difficulty with anger and its manifestation can take on characteristics that make it look like depression. Women tend to internalize anger or display it via passive-aggressive behavior like a compliment followed by an action of aggression. Anger is part of recovery, but it can turn the sweetest person into a veritable nightmare if not managed properly.

Stage 4: Acceptance (hurray!)

You've made it and now you are finally ready mentally, physically and spiritually to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right. Now is the time to start dating again, getting back into circulation and moving on.

Welcome Back to Your Life! (Hurray!)
____________________________________________________

Q: where am i now?

A: 85% Acceptance 15% Anger

can money buy ME happiness?

First of all, is happiness for sale? Is there a store at the local shopping centre that trades happiness for some of your hard-earned cash? Ha..ha…am i being stupid.. huh!

Wikipedia define happiness as;
an emotional or affective state that feels good or pleasing. Overlapping states or experiences associated with happiness include wellbeing, sexual pleasure, delight, health, safety, contentment, and love, while contrasting ones include suffering, sadness, grief, anxiety, and pain. Happiness is often correlated to the presence of favorable events (such as a promotion, marriage, lottery winnings, etc.) and the absence of troubles or bad luck (such as accidents, getting fired, divorce, conflicts, etc.).

Since happiness is a state of mind that arises from favorable events in our life, can money buy some of these events? The answer is yes. Money can buy me house, car, vacation and other things that will put a smile on my face. Having great conversation with family and friends, being loved and more time to read my favorite books can also makes me happy, which doesn't involve money.

As for now, money definitely makes me happier… it is one of the mechanism to create happiness. Another question pops up in my head… how much would I need in order to blip on my happiness radar?

Why Things Are The Way They Are?

Mummy, why are the roses red?
Mummy, why is the grass green and the sky blue?
Why does a spider have a web and not a house?

Daddy, why can't I play in your toolbox?
Teacher, why do I have to read?
Mummy, why can't I wear lipstick to the dance?
Daddy, why can't I stay out until 12:00? The other kids can.

Mom, why do I have to graduate?
Dad, why do I have to grow up?
Dad, why do you love me so much?
Dad, why do you spoil me? Your little girl is growing up.
Mom, why is it hard to make new friends?
Dad, why do I miss being at home?

Dad, why does my heart skip a beat when he looks in my eyes?
Mom, why do my legs tremble when I hear his voice?
Mom, why is being "in love" the greatest feeling in the world?
Dad, why did he leave me? Mom, why it’s hurt so much?
Mom, why do I think too much?

Mom, Dad.. I love you

To be Free

To fly, to soar
And see the world, like never before,
To skip, to run
Having no worries, having fun,
To visualize, to see
The beauty around, the beauty of me,
To expeience, to feel
Bountiful feelings, all real,
To live, to love
Cherishing life, the gift from above,
To accept, to surrender
Loving myself unconditionally forever,
To express, to grow
To stretch, to show,
To be,
To be free,
Is to be,
To be me…

By : Ariff

Desire

You can’t ever get everything you want. It is impossible.

Luckily, there is another option:

You can learn to control your mind, to step outside of this endless cycle of desire and aversion.

You can learn not to want what you want, to recognize desires but not be controlled by them….