Missing u much Maldives

I just need to be back in Maldives. Enough said.

One Year Old

Merdeka and i am one year old. Continue walking.. hair down, chin up and smile.

Will our path crossed, one day?

Depart from Senai airport for the first time, pm. Safely arrived, heading Armenian Street. Hello Penang.

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Ramadhan

Knock.. knock.. Ramadhan.

I can't help feeling nostalgic. Last year, at this moment I was busy packing and wrapping up. Thinking and feeling about it give me goosebumps. Serious. How time flies kan. 

Fasting month. It takes two hours to reach home if I leave the office at 5pm. I decided to stay back and go home after break fast. It takes thirty minutes. As time is expensive, those ninety minutes I can do wonders. Tak pe lah... buka puasa di rumah pun seorang, no reason for me to brave the traffic jams.

They asked me why I do not request to go back early as what is commonly practise here? I did my own calculations.. there are 19 working days during Ramadan (after less 2 days of annual leave that I plan to take). If I less 5 working days where I will not fast, left me with 14 working days.

I asked myself, do I really need to request special treatment just because I fast for those 14 days? Is it difficult for me to adjust my timing?

It makes me shy.

Little bird told me that my boss actually did some homework before hiring me. She asked opinion from her Malaysian network if it is difficult to hire reliable competent staff and about hiring a Malay staff. She did get some negative feedback about Malays especially in accounting and finance where its been dominated by non-Malays. Of course there is counterback statement by saying that maybe this person is a new Malay.

Hmmmm... Interesting kan.

On my last trip to Penang, my boss was spying on people. She spy if muslim really fast. HaHaHa.. kelakar kan and do they cheat.. I said yes of course some of them..but they do it secretly. So she spying on one guy eating MH peanut. She said Hah! I caught muslim not fasting. Then I take a look.. and slowly said to her.. I think that guy is indian. Hahaha... how clueless she is about Malaysian.

The day before she arrives Penang, there was a news on MH Melbourne flight turn back due to some emergency. She was extremely nervous as she needs to take domestic flight to KL. The plane landed safely and she said to me that one of the reasons why she feels a bit comfort taking the plane was due to I'm travelling with her and she hope my God will take care of me and that means the whole plane. She admit it's sound stupid but she needs to let it out.

At the airport, I requested her to change to long pants as we are going to government office and she needs to wear something that less revealing. I said it's friday, it's fasting month and there was some hooohaaa about the dress code.

So she changed.

I have been surrounded by non Malays, Malaysian and non Malaysian. Do they superior than me? Do they better than me? Do they treat me differently? 

My answer would be NO.

They are just the same. They have their own struggle, weakness and strength. We are just a bunch of people trying to make a living.

I believe that human in default, has good intentions.

Salam Ramadhan

a Beautiful Struggle

Woohooo.. a month passed by without a word about Japan trip. Hmmm.. time and money, do you have enough?

I didn't realised that I have learned so much previously and that gave me a lot of sense and foundation as I am today. Perhaps when you are in a new environment, all that you have left in the pocket that you carry all the time is the valuable experience.

I have been learning every day. This constant learning is my Beautiful Struggle. A hopeful kind of struggle that you know it takes time but the end result would be beautiful. It is a process with an intention to change and educate me to BE better.

Why I say it is a struggle?

Because it stretching me every single way. The way I think and act will produce result. It's a constant need of STOP, THINK and ACT moment. Sometime action is faster than the brain that needs time to think. And of course I cannot control the situation, I don't know what will happen next.

Why I say it is beautiful?

Because I'm being hopeful.. that I smell the roses.. I feel the sea breeze and I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

This is not ayat pujuk hati.

Alhamdullillah.

Japan Trip: 1. Kembali

1 to 8 May 2015

That's how my trip will be in Japan for 8d/7n. Fly in Osaka Fly out Tokyo. Flight from KUL to KIX at 1am and takes 6h25mins with one hour ahead of M'sia time.

I did not do much preparation, but being in Japan before... I hope I'll survive. I have my JR train pass and booked all the hotels. So that good enough. The rest, ikut kaki melangkah. Tujuan asal untuk menegejar sakura.. cari punya cari tiket ended up terbeli yang lewat. Mengikut ramalan, dah habis dah sakura :(

I only need to take 3 days off for this trip. Jimat kan. Tapi it's actually not a good time in Japan as they are celebrating Golden Week where 4 national holidays within 7 days. One of the busiest time in Japan.

Hmmmm... tak pe lah. Musim bunga di Jepun.. i like. Ayuh!

Restore

Five full days with Penang team and HK team really depleted my energy. When I arrived home on Thursday night, I was already weak and looking forward to sleep on my own bed. I can't really slept for all those four nights at the nice boutique hotel. Entah lah.. ada je yang tak kena. I woke up at 5am everyday.

I took out my lens, brush my teeth, changed my clothes, switched off the light and then hopped to bed. I really miss you bed. It was one of those deep sleep i had. But the tiredness was still there and all day at work, I cant wait to meet Saturday.

Today, early morning I spent more than 2 hours to watch 3 episode of Grey's Anatomy. Oh no... they killed Mc Dreamy. Sad. Then I start unpack my bag, sort out my dirty clothes for laundry and iron, vacuum and mop the apt and then cook some simple dish. In the evening, I take a nap. Oh.. that luxury nap.

I felt okay now. I restore myself when I'm alone :)

Why do bad things happen to good people? We ask that question so often it’s become a cliche. But that’s because bad things do happen to good people, constantly. You just have to hope when it’s your turn, you’ll know what to do, how to cope, how to persevere. But the truth is, you don’t know how you will react to a worst case scenario. None of us do, not until it happens. - Meredith Grey

Cleaning up

It has been super looooong week. I meant it. Looooong. Not going to share all the details as i'm too tired.

Being with her.. stretch me every corner, every inch and every space that i have.

But, i learned a big lesson today. She had shown me how far she's  willing to go down to get things done. Even when she hold such a high position, she willing to do all the hard work without  hesitation, without question and without excuses.

She just do as per madate.

I'm impressed.

my Kindness..

taken for weakness.

I always have this thought that to be successful, you need to have extra strong personality. You need to have distinctive character that somehow will carry you through the challenging  moments. It may look like heartless, selfish and brutal, but it's actually just doing what is required.

Being kind, being thoughtful and being well manner human being will never take you anywhere. People won't listen to you. People don't take you seriously. People take advantage of you. Do you agree? You can't  move mountain by being polite!

But i know... i'm wrong.

I should look up and learn all the kindness shown by The Prophet.

Memories are like Ghosts

Some will come back

To visit you

Even when they are uninvited

It lingers

Without your permission

They say Hello 

In your mind

They sneak in

Out of no where

Without your permission

They say Hi

In your dreams

They just pop up 

Participate as an actor

Without your permission 

They just there

Not saying a word

Watching you

Looking at you

Without your permission

They are like ghost

Invisible, but there

Inside your brain

Creeping and messing it up

Without your permission

Brighter Day

1. I have less distraction at work and i'm loving it. Most of my time spent inside my room, visiting the Property and Penang. I do not have staff under me, I do not need to take care of the office and of course people, I eat my lunch alone, I don't gossip, I only discuss, I say Hi in the morning and Bye in the evening and I only report to one super smart and scary lady boss who is thousand miles away but feel so close. With all these, my energy is really spent on work, not people.

2. Relationship makes me weak. Love makes me weak. Enough said.

3. Few years back, I have this thought of adopting baby. But now, reality hits me. I woke up and have the sense of realisation and reasons of why certain things are fated for me. I want it for a wrong reason. I, myself inadequate of caring and nurturing a human being. 

4. Since my working hour has changed, my life has more sense of balance. I'm happy when I can clock out at 5pm. It justified why I need to be out from the house by 6.40am. I love being the first person in the office. It's like getting up early before the insanity start.

5. Surprisingly I didn't miss travelling much. But I do look forward  for my next trip. It's just that the urge of travelling has slowly and quietly behave. I don't feel the need to be somewhere else and not here. Perhaps my running shoes need a rest too. Hmm... turning domestic (or maybe because I have finished my annual leave for the first half of the year..hehe)

6. I have less thing to write. Is this good? I don't know. Does this means, I feel content with my life? Entah. Or am I slowing down?

7. I love love love this song by Ellie Goulding - Love me like you do

Good Night.