10.10.10 - X.X.X Expedition

Conquered Mount Tahan or Myself?

A friend of mine asked me what will be the difference this time around? I replied – perhaps I know what it takes to climb a mountain.

I knew I have to do it now. There’s no other perfect time to climb a mountain than now. I’m not getting any younger and if not now then when? So, decision has been made and all of us packed our stuff and ready to go.

I was totally wrong. I underestimate Mount Tahan. The journey was extremely hard. Hard work all the way up and down.

On the third night, setelah sampai ke puncak, saya terbangun beberapa kali di tengah malam, mengurut kaki yang sakit dan kebas. Sambil mengurut kaki, saya melihat kepada rakan-rakan saya yg tidur. Bukanlah nampak sangat, sebab gelap. Saya terfikir. Each one of us has our own dream. Each one of us is hoping for good things in life. We are all the same. We have our own issue to handle. Be it wanting to be good father, husband, son, daughter, friend, partner or leader. We all struggling. But knowing that we have each other back to hold on makes the journey worthwhile.

For me, this journey is not about who’s the fastest, who the number one is or who’s the toughest. I’m not climbing the mountain to show off that I’m super women or G.I.Jane. Nope.

One thing for sure… It feels good to be back home. I’m grateful for all the things that I have.Thank you God. For Gunung Tahan team - thank you, I appreciate you truly!. I reached the summit because of all of you :D

In life, we have our own check point (as for this mountain, we have 9 check point). We stop, look, think and choose. We repeat the same process until we reached our milestone. We may success or we may lose. We change. We adapt. We start all over again. We have to constantly come up with new ways to fix our self. Or else we get the same result. We create new version of our self. We just need to be sure that this one was the improvement over the last.

Along the way to the check point, we must always be thankful and blessed for the people around us. We shared the moments, we shared the journey... with all sort of emotions - be it happiness, joy, anger, fear, pain, frustration and disappointment. Good or bad, they make a difference to our life. They are the one that beside us throughout the journey. That count. That matters.

Quote from Meredith Grey that I think somehow make sense:

“Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.”
Each one of us would definitely bring back their own story.

These are mine :)

The Journey

Secara ringkasnya, it’s a five days trekking: camping style, heavy bag and back to nature.8.10.10 Day One : Kuala Juram – Kuala Luis – Lata Luis - Kem Kor (total 13.5 km, 750m)Starting my journey with almost 12kg bag at my back, NOT an easy task. Considering the rest of the team member carry twice heavy, I can’t complain. We crossed 7 river dan saya tidak ada berperasaan sangat utk mengambil tahu tentang pacat yg mungkin masuk di dalam setokin. Terdapat satu sungai yang agak dalam (melebihi paras lutut saya :)) dan kalau tergelincir alahai..... Berdebar-debar juga saya, nasib baik lah ada tali. Sepanjang perjalanan banyak pokok kayu besar yang tumbang dan kami juga melalui air terjun. Tiba di kem kor hampir gelap. Menu mlm itu ayam masak kicap dan sayur kobis. Tiada selera mkn dan mlm itu tidak lena tidur kerana terdengar bunyi angin yg kuat, sangkakan hujan dan teringat yg bukan-bukan. Maklumlah first time tidur camping style.9.10.10 Day Two: Kem Kor – Permatang – Kubang (total 6km, 1406m)Pagi, breakfast nasi goreng dan pack utk tengah hari (tapi tak makan pun). Tercungap-cungap habis semasa mendaki. Tanah licin dan tiada daya membawa beg tetapi di teruskan juga. Terasa semua kederat digunakan utk memanjat. Jatuh beberapa kali kerana licin. Setiapkali bila melihat laluan yang mencanak tinggi, hati saya berkata, boleh ke saya panjat ni. Tapi there's no turning back. Saya gagahi juga. Lega rasa nya bila Jeff kata kita dah melepasi bukit taubat. Jeff sabar habis melayan saya sepanjang perjalanan. Jalan mcm kura-kura. Plan asal sepatutnya kami bermalam di kem Botak. Tetapi oleh kerana tahap kecergasan kami yang tinggi, kami settled di Kubang :) Menu makan malam ayam masak merah dan sayur campur, tapi tak tertelan juga. Malam tak lena tidur kerana badan terasa sakit dan teman bersebelahan, kiri dan kanan tidur terlalu rapat, saya rasa suffocate.10.10.10 Day Three: Kubang – Berlumut – Bonsai – Botak – Summit - Botak ( total 12.5 km, 2,187m)Pagi itu kami breakfast mehoon goreng. Perjalanan semakin mencabar. Akar-akar kayu yang besar menyukarkan perjalanan. Ini tak termasuk jerangkap samar jalan lecak. Dah tak terkira byk nya kali kaki terbenam dlm lecak. Jalan pun dah tak betul, tak stabil. Pakai jalan sahaja. Tak fikir jln yg paling mudah. Makan power bar / gel pun mcm dah seakan tak memberi effect. Tengah hari berhenti utk sandwich.Dalam perjalanan ke botak, kaki rasa dah tak mampu nak berjalan. Lutut dan kuku kaki sakit tak terkira. Sakit nya Tuhan sahaja yg tahu. Saya tahan kan saja. At this point, Zainal offer to carry my bag. Pada mulanya saya keberatan kerana saya tahu bag Zainal beratnya lebih 20kg. Tak kan saya nak beban kan dia lagi, but Zainal insisted. So, I let go my bag and I cried. Saya menangis kerana rasa sakit yg tidak tertahan dan kerana terharu melihat Zainal berlari membawa beg saya yg berat itu. Kemudian, saya lihat Jeff pula yang membawa beg saya. Terharu saya dengan mereka.Saya meneruskan perjalanan, berjalan perlahan-lahan. Pemandangan di botak, membuat kan saya terkedu. Kelihatan gunung-ganang disekeliling. Terasa kecil dan insignificant diri ini. The last time I felt the same thing was when I lost in the blue sea.We settled at Botak campsite around five pm. Khemah di pasang supaya semuanya sudah sedia apabila turun dari puncak. I have doubt that I can make it. I asked Zainal few time, the same question. My worry is that I become a liability to the group. Nekad kan hati utk teruskan perjalanan ke puncak. Sudah tidak jauh, tetapi rasa tak sampai-sampai.Akhirnya, sampai juga kami. YEAY!!! Tak tahu nak kata rasa apa.Malam itu kami makan daging masak lemak dan telur dadar. Pun tidak berselera makan walaupun suhu sangat sejuk. Mungkin sebab terlalu penat. Hanya beberapa sudu sahaja yang boleh ditelan. Malam, terasa betul sejuk dan saya tercungap-cungap bila tidur. Saya terbangun byk kali. Kaki terasa kebas. Saya ingat kan kaki saya hilang… hahaha.. rupanya kebas. Tengah mlm itu, sambil duduk mengurut kaki yg kebas, saya perhatikan rakan-rakan saya. Mcm-mcm saya fikirkan.11.10.10 Day Four: Botak – Bonsai – Berlumut – Kubang – Permatang – Kem KorPagi itu, breakfast bubur nasi keledek dan cekodok putih. Perjalanan pulang masih jauh. Doa saya dalam hati semoga kami sampai dengan selamat, biar pun lambat. Sepanjang jalan, mcm-mcm cerita ada. Saya dengarkan sahaja. Terhibur.Langkah saya semakin perlahan. Rakan-rakan decided to distribute isi kandungan bag saya among each other. I walk slowly without my bag for a while and then we stop at camp site for lunch – maggi. Our porter offered me his sambal tempoyak. If u knew me well, saya memang tak makan sambal tempoyak/belacan. But because of his persistent, I tried and somehow like it. Rasa ikan bilis goreng dan bawang membuka sedikit selera.Perjalanan diteruskan. Hari sudah gelap dan hujan pun turun. Saya terjatuh terlentang dua kali kerana licin. Rasa takut pun ada. Kami selamat sampai di kem kor. Semua kelaparan. Mungkin ular yg dtg ke khemah kami pun lapar :). Nasib baik patukan ular itu sedikit sahaja dan tidak bahaya. Menu malam itu bihun tomyam. Semua duduk di dlm bulatan menantikan tomyam yg sedang dimasak. Malam itu saya tidur beralaskan akar kayu. Sakit. Tidak boleh tidur. Mujur tengah mlm itu kami beralih tmpt.12.10.10 Day Five: Kem Kor – lata Luis – Kuala Luis – Kuala JuramHari terakhir. YEAY!!! Tidak sabar rasanya untuk pulang. Pagi itu kami breakfast nasi lemak sotong. Jeff bantu saya bawa sleeping bag, camera dan baju sejuk. Saya cuba mempercepatkan langkah saya. Rasa tak sampai sampai. Perut sakit nak ke toilet. Saya perlajukan lagi langkah saya secepat mungkin. Tapi asyik lalu tepi sungai sahaja. Rasa lega bila sampai dan meredah sungai yg terakhir. Tandanya kami hampir sampai. Nampak sahaja jambatan gantung, saya terus menadah tangan rasa bersyukur sampai dengan selamat. Alhamdulillah.Rasanya, sampai sudah masa untuk menggantung kasut. Kata orang lama - demi cinta lautan sanggup di renangi, gunung sanggup di daki....CUBA TENGOK DAKI GUNUNG TAHAN... ada berani..hehehe :DTotal trekking : 64 km, height 2,187m

The Magic of Thinking BIG

I’m so happy. Alhamdulillah. The orphanage home that I ...work with (being me, on and off.. mcm biskut.. sekejap ada sekejap tak ada) will receive fund from government amounting to RM 1.7 million to built hostel and surau. Yep. That’s a lot of money. Ka-Ching!

Shame on me for not believing their dreams. There was doubt in me when the founder presented the paper on their future plan. I have doubt that the founder can make this plan a reality. It’s BIG. It’s HUGE. It’s EXTRAORDINARY.

WOW. I’m inspired. Believe in Big.

Be My Mentor Please :)

I met with... I would say an inspiring man. He is passionate about his work, take good care of his family and let other people around him win.

In a short sharing moment, I can feel his being and aura of a good leader. I did not know anything about him. Zero. But he resemble of everything a good man should be.

Wow!! Betul. He’s one of a kind.

Oh goshh… I hope he can be my mentor.

A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself
– Oprah Winfrey -

The Grass and Me

When was the last time you tried something for the first time?

Many months ago.

What stopping you?

Myself and the surrounding

What will be the difference this time?

My willingness

There I was for the second time. It’s different, but it’s still real. I hardly remember the process. I keep telling myself the purpose of me being there is to stop and honestly reflect the way I live my life.

I burn out due to work, I disconnect myself with people and I stop living. I lost my passion. Simple as that.

Now that I choose to change my belief and attitude. Should the outcome are not favorable, I know I have tried my best and it was the best decision I have made at that moment.

The grass is not always greener on the other side.

Freeloaders

I’m not the fastest, strongest, smartest or tallest but I’m willing to coming early, leave late and work the hardest. I knew I can control one thing; my time, my hours, my effort and my efficiency - Ryan Seacrest

Go away freeloaders!

Fatigue

Oh… another crappy day today. It’s had been a while. I’m not sure if this really what I want. I need to sleep. I need to have a good night sleep. Yes..desperately need to sleep.

So that the next morning when I wake up, I smile. I can put happy thoughts in my head. I can wake up and hope. I can wish for a beautiful day.

Until somewhere along the day, i stumble upon people who make me sad, people who bring me down either consciously or unconsciously ruin my day and giving me crappy time.

Then I sleep, and wake up again. Sleep makes me flies from today to tomorrow. Believing and praying that there will be a better tomorrow.

You Are... NOT

You are not your job. You are not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the shoes you wear. You are not the contents of your wallet - quote from Fight Club

Exactly. Think about it...

Coffee 101

Jika anda gila coffee seperti saya, photo di atas mencerita kan jenis-jenis coffee yang biasa di jual. Main ingrdient adalah espresso. The rest, are mixture of steamed milk, milk foam, whipped cream dan choocolate syrup.

My favorite order is Flat White. Jika tiada, Caffe Latte pun ok.

Jemput minum :)

Yeay! I Passed My Exam

Yeay!!! I'm so happy. I passed my insurance exam. Yes. Its C, and i only spent less than three hours to read the material, so C is good enough.

I was so worried that i will fail. I started my reading early in the morning and in between the day i've was disturbed by the daily work task. The reading material consist of 30 chapters at 450++ pages. I managed to speed read up to 15 chapters. I skip my lunch and rush myself to maju junction for exam.

I have to answer 100 questions in two hours. Instant result was obtained when i click finished button. I was very nervous. I pray and pray for good thing to happen. The last time i seat for exam was for my scuba diving certificate.. i think in 2004.

Alhamdulliah :)