.. all require strong heart and will power to endure the change.
Love or hate, change is here even when I'm in denial, even when I push it away or even when i run away. I'm contemplating.. which one is the worst.
Leaving seems lesser pain. But is that true? We always think that the grass is greener on the other side. Brigitte Bardot says — 'I leave before being left. I decide.' Yes. Might be true too. I decide, i own the power. If you had enough suffer, pain or all sort of unhappiness in current situation, leaving would be an option worth the risk. How difficult it could be since in worst case scenario, you still suffer (which currently you already are!) but leaving gives the opportunity of best case scenario which is the new beginning of a happier life. As such the 'change' seems bearable since the willingness is there.
Being left behind seems a challenge. Being left means we have to cope with the changes. We are not willing to change but we have too since we have been left behind. We have to be strong to pick up the broken pieces. To keep it back together is not an easy task. To do things we don't want to do and don't know how to do it. At times we still day dreaming and compare our life now with what we had before. Things seems easy before we being left behind. We struggle to accept and cope with the changes.
On the other hand, being asked to leave seems the hardest. No option, no choice and off you go. You have to Face up, chin up and brave the weather. Like it or not, you can not turn back. Nobody's there. Feels like nobody want you and need you. Change will be the most difficult things to do. Oh. It's hurt to the bone.
No conclusion. Either way (being left and asked to leave) are painful. Ya Allah, permudahkan lah kami.
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