Oh Sem lil Boy

that you're become.. 

He resembles his father, my lil brother. The way he smile exactly like his father. Somehow my feelings travel back more than twenty years ago when he was at the same age. He was such a darling. Early morning my mom will carry him ke pasar. Put him dalam box peti ikan. So that mom can continue work.

He hardly give hard time to mom, I guess. He entertained mom customer with his cheeky smile and cheerful noice. Perhaps he was also one of the reason mom being a super strong women that she is till now.

You made me feel old lil boy :) So, I'm trying to make my weekends more meaningful. Be it with family, friends, community, work or me-time. So each week I will make a plan. Plan that make me more useful or better. Each moment count.

Good Luck.

On Leaving, Being Left and Asked to Leave

.. all require strong heart and will power to endure the change.

Love or hate, change is here even when I'm in denial, even when I push it away or even when i run away. I'm contemplating.. which one is the worst.

Leaving seems lesser pain. But is that true? We always think that the grass is greener on the other side. Brigitte Bardot says — 'I leave before being left. I decide.'  Yes. Might be true too. I decide, i own the power. If you had enough suffer, pain or all sort of unhappiness in current situation,  leaving would be an option worth the risk. How difficult it could be since in worst case scenario, you still suffer (which currently you already are!) but leaving gives the opportunity of best case scenario which is  the new beginning of a happier life. As such the 'change' seems bearable since the willingness is there.

Being left behind seems a challenge. Being left means we have to cope with the changes. We are not willing to change but we have too since we have been left behind. We have to be strong to pick up the broken pieces. To keep it back together is not an easy task. To do things we don't want to do and don't know how to do it. At times we still day dreaming and compare our life now with what we had before. Things seems easy before we being left behind. We struggle to accept and cope with the changes.

On the other hand, being asked to leave seems the hardest. No option, no choice and off you go. You have to Face up, chin up and brave the weather. Like it or not, you can not turn back. Nobody's there. Feels like nobody want you and need you. Change will be the most difficult things to do. Oh. It's hurt to the bone.

No conclusion. Either way (being left and asked to leave) are painful. Ya Allah, permudahkan lah kami.

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resolution

Seventy, after Ten years

Ten years ago, I'm part of these beautiful people in a meaningful journey with a commitment to make a difference with each othe life.

Seventy in the house

To see everyone gathered together after ten years,  reminds me of the check point that we had on our second week. Makes me paused and step back to think what have created in these ten years.

Power group

After ten years, some of us are successful and some of us are struggling with different challenges in life. Whatever it is, I believe we are meant to be the way we are now, because we have what it takes.

Matt, the toarchbearer 

Thank you Seventy. Our path has crossed because we are meant to be.. 

SY, Sue, SH (missing frm the pix)

The Journey: Fabulous Fes, Part 2

Fes somehow reminded me of India, where everything was overwhelming. It's like we were transported to different planet and time zone.

Four hours thirty mins journey by train from Tangier to Fes was okay. We have the compartment (eight seat) to ourselves half of the journey. I have been reminded by my brother to be extra careful and not to buy any carpet in Morocco since its part of the scam.

Then, one guy seat with us and claimed to work with Tourism Morocco. With good spoken English, we chat for a while and then he offered his friend, a tour guide to show us around Fes. Earlier we read from internet that the old medina (where we will be staying) is like a maze. Its difficult to get around and being lost in old medina is a must. Since we only have limited time, being lost will drain our time. As such we agreed to pay his friend, RM 60 per person for half a day walking tour.

Train Station

Upon arrival, his friend Rashid is waiting for us. I was a bit surprise with the people and surrounding. Its so much different from Spain. I was also a bit hesitate in the beginning to see almost all men wearing jubah with hood like this. Macam orang jahat yang kita tengok at movie.

Old men selling biscuits

Its actually men's jubah during winter. Me, too much TV i guess :) We took taxi and heading to our riadh (a Moroccan hotel) in old Medina of Fes el Bali  which also UNESCO world heritage site founded in 793 AD. Yes, its really old and that is why it's interesting :D 

We knocked the riadh door, which is small and without any window. Once we entered... fuyooo, its transform into nice and cozy riadh. Its three story riadh with Moroccan deco. Nice. We were served with mint tea and cookies which a bit too sweet.

Moroccan Riadh

Breakfast was served

After freshen up, we start our tour despite feeling tired of the loong journey from Spain. First stop, Moroccan leather tanneries which existed 500 years ago and basically the same today. They used birds poops which turns into acid to clean the skin. Its smelly but worth a visit.

To see the tanneries process, you have to go through the leather bag shop. The shop owner will try to persuade you to buy the bags which I believe has been mark up more than 500%. If you do not have bargaining skill like myself, tak payah la beli. Tengok je la.

Suka beg ni, tapi mahal sangat deh

Then we continue to the carpet shop. Jeng Jeng Jeng. Tengok je. Cantik bangat. Harganya....isk isk isk.. boleh beli tiket kapal terbang :p

 Then, to silk shop. The silk is made from cactus.

And lastly, we went for dinner which I had a 'great' time laughing myself out loud till tears. Serious. It has been a while, I did not laugh this hard. Yes. I laugh at myself :D

The empty expensive restaurant

The restaurant was empty. We look thru the menu and thought that we wanted to ordered one main course only. The restaurant owner somehow refused our order. He insisted us to order for two. Kenapa la pulak kan. We have difficulties to communicate and finally he gaves us another menu which is a set and allow us to ordered one set.

Upon waiting our food to be served, the realization kicks in. We have been scammed. Suddenly the background music becoming hilarious. Its instrumental Moroccan music and the tone getting higher and higher to the peak. We laugh at ourselves realizing that we have been scammed since inside the train by the so called tourism guy... HAHAHA. 

Since we already paid our tour guide, the restaurant man is supposed to take us back to the riadh. We have no choice but to have dinner there in order to be back home safely. Tidak tahu jalan pulang. We paid RM 160 for one set of menu for the dinner.

The next morning, we decided to walk in the old medina on our own. We make sure we go one straight line and come back for another direction. Hehe. The old medina sangat lah intersting sangat. Cuma the shop owner sedikit mendesak. Tak berani nak sentuh dan tengok lama-lama. Somehow I managed to buy red leather bag to replace my old bag yang tiba-tiba koyak pulak. Saje la kan. The shop owner is a young guy, talk pleasantly and did not pushed to hard to sell. Me happy, he's happy :)

Moroccan Deco..cantek, suka

We had our lunch before taking the train to Casablanca. Morocco is famous for tangia/tanjia where beef, chicken or fish are cook in clay cooking pot. We requested from our riadh to cook for us. It was triple tasty than our dinner yesterday night.

Tanjia - beef cooked with pruns

Lesson learned and the good thing was that we learned that we're able to laugh out loud at our own mistake instead of being moody and stress out :D. Continue with Casablanca in next post.

Laugh at yourself once in a while; give yourself a break   - Greg Evans -                                 

Tak Kenal maka Tak Cinta

My books has arrived. Yay! Timely for new year day off as I plan to stay at home and rest after struggling with year end closing and training at the same time. More to come tomorrow but will handle and think about it tomorrow.

 
Honestly, I need an inspiration for my lost and tired soul. My soul needs to find its way home. Where else to look for than coming back to the basic. Filling my day off today by get to know in person with Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wassallam. On my last visit to Masjid Nabawi, saying goodbye feels really heavy. I feel ashamed, I decided to get to know Him better.

Half way thru.. Happy reading people :)

2013: Mixed Feeling

That is how I summed up year 2013. Not a super fast bullet roller coaster ride but it was not easy though. I can't really tell much about the ride as it was not the things that I'm able to share. 

Alhamdulillah, for my Happiness list in 2013. Not as much as last year but I did spent more time per trip. Less destination and more time spent. Lots of memorable moments some of it I chose not to share and keep it close to my heart :)

January - Maldives

Feb - Ho Chi Minh

March - Sydney on solo

April - Ho Chi Minh

June - Umrah

July - Bali

Sept - Brisbane and North NZ

Nov/Dec - France, Spain and Morocco

2013 was colorful  on work related matters and plain on personal department. I have my moments of putting my guard off and rebuilt it back. Somehow along the way, I lost my soul and its gets to my head. I had thousands of 'i don't know' moments and I wish i have all the answer. Some decisions were wise and most of them I let my heart decide and paid the consequences.

I can feel that in 2014 the the road will get bumpier, the road will be windier and perhaps the lights is getting dimmer at the end of the road. I have to be strong. I have to be brave. I have to wear my gladiator suite. Hmmmm... see.. I HAVE TO. Terpaksa habis.

I should change this. I should say, I want to be strong, I need to be brave and I can wear my gladiator suite should i feel small. I want to appreciate and create more me-time, be selective and focus on what matters the most. The rest is just insignificant.

 Inside my head, I have lots of things need to be changed. I need to find my way home.

Orang yang ingin berubah, perlu berusaha.

In Shaa Allah, Amin. Thank you 2013, Happy New Year. Have a blessed 2014.