A Place Called Home

Have you ever been in a situation where you should be happy but you’re not?. I’ve been trying so hard to be so called "happy" but deep down inside, I feel miserable….

May I have the strength to begin with :-)

OK.. MOVE ON… NEXT

Here is the lyric of a song that I fell in love with.. by Jaclyn Victor and Same Same, Without You. Loved it so much. It puts a smile on my face and brightens up my day. Walla….


The first time I saw you, I knew
I knew I loved you 'cause my heart stopped
The first time I held you, I knew
I knew I love you 'cause my heart stopped

'Cause I.. la la la la la la
Love You..

Love can make you feel so funny
No house, no car, not even money
Will make me feel the way
What I’m really trying to say
Can’t live another day
Without you

The first time I kissed you I knew
I knew I had you 'cause your heart stopped
The first time I missed you I knew
I knew I never wanna leave you

Love can make you feel so funny
No house, no car, not even money
Will make me feel the way
What I’m really trying to say
Can’t live another day
Without you

'Cause I.. la la la la la la
Love You..

Because I.. la la la
Love You.. Love You..
--------------------------------------------------
I think I’ve let myself being vulnerable again…

Yaaamm Seeeng

Wedding...oh wedding... what it is about wedding that makes me tired. Its not that i hate wedding... but most of the time i feel fake.. don't know why... But of course I do want to celebrate their love To my beloved friend,

in love did you fall

dating, proposals, rehearsals

and a wedding to follow

may bliss shine down upon you

and give you peace

may you keep your word close to your heart,

as you walk the path of matrimony

...................................................................

who's next?

cotton candy

People ask me: “Do you have a boyfriend?”
I would ponder and tell them no.
And they’d ask me why.
And I’d always say: “I’m enjoying my single life.”
If I were to be honest, I would have said: “I don’t know why.” And that’d be the truth.
I admit that I can fancy people easily. But I don’t easily fall in love. Liking someone, is not loving someone. It’s just not the same.
What do I look for in a guy? They would ask. Questions, questions…
Well, fundamentally, I just want someone who would want to be part of my world, I guess. My strange and peculiar world. Someone who can make me wants to be part of his world too. It’s about sharing not owning... (i know i sound absurd)
Now I’m scared. I’ve always been scared. And I’m sick of that.
“Scared of what?” You ask.
I’m scared of being hurt once more. Scared that I’m being hurt by something that was actually never meant to be. Scared of the one I might fall for, and end up being disappointed. I’m scared that all I thought to be true……were just mere lies…
I’m scared of my imagination, for it can run so wild beyond your imagination.
If that last truth was true…then above all…I fear that he stopped loving me, because of a stupid misunderstanding, a stupid mistake, and because…because… arghhhh

Goodbye & Welcome

It’s here. 2007. The New Year ... again.

As the thought finally hit me earlier today, looking back, I couldn’t help but feel that 2006 had passed surprisingly quickly. Break-ups, family troubles, financial issues, health problems … it was all there. Yet…I resigned myself to think that 2006 wouldn’t be the worst year of my life.

I don’t have any resolution for this year. Does that mean I’m not giving a commitment towards my own life? Am I afraid to explore what is out there for me? Or is it my very own power that I’m afraid to trust?

Happy New Year my dear friends !
Mon, 1/1/07

I......

I am: happy to be me :-)

I know: that I am very blessed and fortunate

I want: scuba diving vacation

I wish: I have more money & time...*sigh*

I hate: mean people

I miss: you :-)

I fear: that people I care about don't know how strongly I feel about them

I feel: a little bit lost

I crave: chocolate and ice cream

I wonder: what will happen in the future

I pretend: that I'm tall by wearing 2 inch heels

I regret: but I know that I shouldn't because you can't change the past

I love: being in love

I long: to have a happy family one day

I care: about how others feel

I always: obsess with pink colour

I am not: ready to be vulnerable.. again

I believe: in Allah

I promise: to keep my promises

I dance: like nobody watching

I sing: in the car

I cry: when someone hurts my feelings

I am not always: right

I fight: sometimes when it isn't necessary

I write: long letter to myself

I try: to apologize whenever I am wrong

I confuse: myself

I listen: to a friend in need

I can usually be found: in the office :-p

I hide: from the boogie monster

I am scared: to the unknown

I need: a hug

I expect: people to be polite to me when I am polite to them

I still: think about the funny moments that tickle me when I think about them

I can't: be a superwomen

I procastinate : my swimming lesson

I should: take the risk

Elephant - Up, Close and Personal Experience

Goshh… it was fun, exciting and enjoyable day… and my many thanks goes to all the elephants at Kuala Gandah Elephant Conversation Center, Lanchang, Pahang (it’s the hub for the translocation program of asian elephants in Malaysia).

After the feeding session, me and Alyssa (linda daughter) took the opportunities to ride the elephant down to the river. The elephant’s keeper shouts few commands to the elephant and in the split second the elephant “throw” us inside the river and we scream out loud.. feeling scared and delights at the same time. Experiencing the joy of having bathed with the elephants is a WOW. That’s how I can conclude it in a word.

Check out the elephant at http://www.myelephants.org/

My deepest appreciation also goes to all the personnel for being such a giver

How Perfect is Your Life?

I tried this quiz and based on the result, my life is quite perfect... ha..ha... but i'm still searching for my Mr. Imperfect that is perfect for me.... Hello Mr. Imperfect.. Where are you???

Your Life is 72% Perfect

Your life is pretty darn perfect. You don't have much to complain about.Of course, your life is occasionally less than perfect. But you're usually too happy to notice.

Selasa bersama Morrie

Book Blessing: Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albon

It was humbling, this book can teach anyone how to live life without the fear of death, or how to live life knowing full well we're gonna die soon.

My favorite part of this book

• "Well, how can you do that if you’re detached?“Ah. You’re thinking, Mitch. But detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That’s how you are able to leave it... If I hold back on the emotions – if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them – you can never get to being detached; you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, “all right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.”
• we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don’t let those tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don’t say anything because we’re frozen with the fear of what those words might do to the relationship
• "i've learned this much about marriage. You get tested. You find out who you are, who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don't.
  
  Is there some kind of rule to know if a marriage is going to work?
  
  Things are not simple, Mitch. Still, he said. 'There are a few rules i know to be true about love and marriage:
  If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.
  If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.
  If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.
  And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.
  And the biggest one of those value.... your belief in the importance of your marriage"

I saw his new book on the shelf... "For one More Day". It will be my next book to read.. after I’ve finish reading my current book lah of course. Happy reading!

Cinta - The Movie

Cinta: A Malaysian rendition of “Love Actually”

5 most impressive things about cinta

1. Great cinematography... seperti di dlm iklan
2. Refreshing… tidak meleret-leret… bla…bla…bla
3. It’s kind of weird… but ngasrizal ngasri is a great supporting actor in this movie… being indecisive grandson.. torn btw love, responsibility and situation.
4. Rashidi ishak… hey! he can act.. as a loving, hopeless romantic but heartbroken husband due to his wife's affair with another man. I’m surprised. He’s not a kayu anymore.. wah!
5. Story-wise - of the 5 stories, I felt that "sepenuh jiwa" played by rashidi and rita rudani is the best

5 less impressive things about cinta

1. I felt they are trying too hard. Simple things can also create deep impact to the audience. Use more is less formula… cewah mcm bagus
2. Love between Eizlan & fasha is like love in the fairy land…the romantic dinner with musician and diamond ring as an expression of love. I felt it was a bit much
3. Oh Pierre andre… please …no more shy and aloof kind of guy. Stop being the shoulder to cry on for pretty girl… You need a change!
4. Kind of mixed personality and inconsistency in arianna - sh. amani character… didn’t really get her… what a waste
5. What’s wrong with khalif?? So kayu and emotionless. kelakar lah

If you believe in love, there are plenty of reasons to celebrate love in this film. Enjoy!

P/s: I love being in love. Doesn’t everybody? It’s the loving that demands so much of a person.

Prayers for Mom…

As she walk towards the registration lane, i feel part of me is falling into pieces. Suddenly, she turns back and search for a familiar faces. From far, I waved my hand up high but she couldn’t see me. I still remember the look and I can’t stop thinking.. what if this is the last time I saw her.

When my world change, when my world falling apart and when my world seems full of confusion, hatred and disappointment, one thing that I am very sure off… my mom’s love …remain unchanged, unmovable and forever… (no matter how screw up I am.)

Mom, my prayers are always for you. Have a safe journey and may Allah be with you, always.

I miss you.

photo by: esam