sigh....

saya tidak akan apa-apa, kalau saya tidak mencari apa yang tiada

Terkenang...

Hari ni semasa drive pulang ke rumah, hati saya terdetik… bagaimana agaknya hidup saya jika bapak masih ada…. Apakah dan bagaimanakah perasaannya, Tidak tercapai perasaan saya untuk menggambarkannya. Sudah terlalu lama bapak pergi. Jadi saya tidak tahu bagaimana keadaanya. Bagaimana keadaannya hari ini kalau bapak masih ada.

Emak masih tidur dengan lampu terangnya. Emak masih tidur dengan radio terpasang kuat. Emak masih simpan baju lama bapak.

What would I do if I could spend one more day with him?

Saya akan meminta bapak untuk membawa kami pusing satu bandar menaiki motor roda empat kesayangannya. Waktu itu saya masih kecil dan motor tu digunakan untuk mengangkut barang di kedai dan juga mengangkut emak, abang, gina dan saya. Maklumlah waktu tu masa susah. Bapak tak mampu nak beli kereta. Jadi motor tu lah jadi kenderaan rasmi. Seronoknya sebab bila bapak bawa laju.. rasa macam boleh terbang je. Hebat tu. Tapi kena pegang palang tepi kuat-kuat. Nanti tak stabil, especially bila belok. Emak tak lah duduk dalam tong empat segi tu. Emak biasanya bonceng kat belakang bapak.

“No matter what happen in my life… I’m gonna be okay”…Saya mahu bapak mengatakannya kepada saya.

While You're Sleeping

Jack : I just wanted to give you this before all the presents started to pile up. I was droppin' off some furniture in Little Italy. I look in a window, and...
Lucy : [it's a snow globe of Florence] Florence.
Jack : Florence.
Lucy : Thank you. It's really beautiful.
Jack : And I wanted to say that I think that Peter... is a very lucky guy.
Lucy : Thank you.
Jack : I had to say that because you're gonna be my sister-in-law.
Lucy : Ha, ha, ha, ha. Well, I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other then.
Jack : I better get goin'.
Lucy : Yeah. Hey, Jack. Jack!
Jack : [turns around] Yeah?
Lucy : Can you give me any reason why I shouldn't marry your brother?
Jack : Oh... I can't.

Jerry : What's this?
Lucy : A wedding invitation.
Jerry : Now wait a second! This is YOUR wedding invitation.
Lucy : So?
Jerry : Whom are we marrying?
Lucy : [turns over invitation] Peter Callaghan.
Jerry : The coma guy? Are you insane?
Lucy : Yes, Jerry. I'm insane. I go to work and I sit in a box like a veal. I work every holiday, I go home to a cat and now a rich and handsome man has asked me to marry him and I've said yes. OK. That makes me a total raving lunatic.
Jerry : The wedding is tomorrow!
Lucy : I know it's tomorrow Jerry, but you know what? I even wish it were yesterday. Because that would mean that TODAY I would be on my honeymoon, that I would finally have a stamp in my passport, and that it would say ‘Italy’ on it.
Jerry : What happened to the other guy?
Lucy : He didn't want me.

....I still love this movie...

Sleep Don't Weep

Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love

Your face is all wet and your day was rough

So do what you must do to find yourself

Wear another shoe, paint my shelves

Those times that I was broke, and you stood strong

I think I found a place where I...

Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love

Your face it's all wet 'cause our days were rough

So do what you must do to fill that hole

Wear another shoe to comfort the soul

Those times that I was broke, and you stood strong

I think I found a place where I feel I will...

Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love

My face it's all wet 'cause my day was rough

So do what you must do to find yourself

Wear another shoe, paint my shelves

Those times that I was broke, and you stood strong

I hope I find a place where I feel I belong

Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love

My face is all wet 'cause my day was rough

-Damien Rice-

rest your eyes

rest your eyes....tommorow is a new day

Meredakan Hati

Beberapa hari lalu Aiman (my nephew) dan saya sedang sama-sama belajar buku sekolahnya. Pelajaran hari itu ialah rukun iman. Saya terkesan kepada rukun iman yang keenam iaitu beriman kepada Qada’ dan Qadar. Ia mengulang ingat pada diri bahawa adanya Kuasa yang lebih dan amat hebat yang membuat KETETAPAN. Saya hanya berusaha, berdoa dan mengharap yang terbaik. Bukan saya yang menentukannya.

kuala medang homestay

Last Saturday, I've visited a homestay at Kuala Medang, about 51 km from Kuala Lipis town. It took us four hours to reached Kampung Kuala Medang. It was hot, i would say very hot and sunny day. I'm a bit disappointed because the rafting activity has been cancelled. This is the main reason i join this trip. However, the delicious food and the humble love from my foster mother, mak cik aishah makes it all worth it :-)

DAY 1 : HOT AND SUNNY DAY

the map

sungai jerai kecil

salak tree


the making of 'gasing'




handicraft


lemang








the making of emping

DAY 2 : FAREWELL

bahulu

the 100 % original turmeric powder
10kg of fresh turmeric = 1.2kg turmeric powder

my new favorite dish... sambal belimbing

happy moments

thank you for celebrating my day
appreciate it

Today is Beautiful

Story forwarded in my email... act as reminder to myself to stop being a so-called victim

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: 'I am blind, please help.' There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words 
 

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'

The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.'
What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.'

Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?

Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

Invite others towards good with wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

Great men say, 'Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness.... In the journey of life, if you want to travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience.'

Drifted

I don’t know how to deal with it.

Once again I’m drifted in the open water.

I’m tired.

rock climbing @ royal mulu

i'm ready

i'm going up

up up away

trying so hard duh...

take me down, please..

finding my way home

I’m tired, but hopefully, not broken.

I have to find my way home.

one for my baby

Having read and enjoyed Parson's other books I looked forward to read this. I found it dull, depressing and predictable. Nothing makes this book special.. far from his previous book men and wife.

Excerpt that I like :

“To become the master of something, you must eat the cold porridge, Grasshopper.. Actually he never called me Grasshopper. Eating cold porridge – to me its means enduring something that has to be endured. More than that, it means missing someone. Really missing someone. The way I miss her. But she is gone and she is not coming back.”

“It’s strange the way the loss of one person can leave such a giant hole in the middle of your life. It’s not as if the hole they left behind feels like the size of another human being. It feels more like the size of a world.”

“ Its funny. You love something and then one day it’s suddenly gone or changed or lost forever. But somehow that doesn’t stop your love. Maybe that’s how you know it’s the real thing. When it doesn’t come with conditions and get-out clauses, when it doesn’t have a best-by date. When you just give your love, and never stop giving it, and know that you never will. That’s when it is real. That’s when they can never touch it or spoil it or take it away from you.”