The Four Stages of Grief

AKA: How Much Longer Until I Feel Good Again?
by Laura Dawn Lewis

Definition of Grief:
The emotional depiction of great loss accompanied by a sense of hopelessness, anguish, denial, anger and confusion.

Stage 1: Denial
Denial can happen in two ways, either it's that nagging little voice in the back of your mind that keeps telling you that it’s time to get out of the relationship and you keep it gagged, making excuses and rationalizing why you need to stay. Or, the object of your affection has left, stopped calling, stood you up repeatedly, not invited you to important events…basically, you are abandoned emotionally or physically. The hard thing about denial is you deny your in it.

Stage 2: Depression

Okay, you admit it. It’s over and you know he/she isn't coming back, ever. The depression phase is about extremes. Suddenly, life feels like it’s over. The sun has stopped shinning. You’re in a daze and the pain and agony are so overwhelming you cannot remember the last time you smiled. Your bad habits become amplified. If you smoke, you smoke more. If you drink, you now want to be drunk and you may eat constantly or not at all. Mostly, life is full of malaise and even routine tasks become drudgery, while work nearly impossible or an obsession. When you finally admit it's over, the hardest part of grief begins: depression.

Stage 3: Anger

Rejoice! If you are feeling anger toward your ex, you are almost home free. This is the final stage that takes some work getting through but it also means that soon you’ll be back to your old self again. Anger is a familiar emotion to men; as a man you have little difficulty in expressing it because society accepts anger from you. Women on the other hand have difficulty with anger and its manifestation can take on characteristics that make it look like depression. Women tend to internalize anger or display it via passive-aggressive behavior like a compliment followed by an action of aggression. Anger is part of recovery, but it can turn the sweetest person into a veritable nightmare if not managed properly.

Stage 4: Acceptance (hurray!)

You've made it and now you are finally ready mentally, physically and spiritually to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right. Now is the time to start dating again, getting back into circulation and moving on.

Welcome Back to Your Life! (Hurray!)
____________________________________________________

Q: where am i now?

A: 85% Acceptance 15% Anger

can money buy ME happiness?

First of all, is happiness for sale? Is there a store at the local shopping centre that trades happiness for some of your hard-earned cash? Ha..ha…am i being stupid.. huh!

Wikipedia define happiness as;
an emotional or affective state that feels good or pleasing. Overlapping states or experiences associated with happiness include wellbeing, sexual pleasure, delight, health, safety, contentment, and love, while contrasting ones include suffering, sadness, grief, anxiety, and pain. Happiness is often correlated to the presence of favorable events (such as a promotion, marriage, lottery winnings, etc.) and the absence of troubles or bad luck (such as accidents, getting fired, divorce, conflicts, etc.).

Since happiness is a state of mind that arises from favorable events in our life, can money buy some of these events? The answer is yes. Money can buy me house, car, vacation and other things that will put a smile on my face. Having great conversation with family and friends, being loved and more time to read my favorite books can also makes me happy, which doesn't involve money.

As for now, money definitely makes me happier… it is one of the mechanism to create happiness. Another question pops up in my head… how much would I need in order to blip on my happiness radar?

Why Things Are The Way They Are?

Mummy, why are the roses red?
Mummy, why is the grass green and the sky blue?
Why does a spider have a web and not a house?

Daddy, why can't I play in your toolbox?
Teacher, why do I have to read?
Mummy, why can't I wear lipstick to the dance?
Daddy, why can't I stay out until 12:00? The other kids can.

Mom, why do I have to graduate?
Dad, why do I have to grow up?
Dad, why do you love me so much?
Dad, why do you spoil me? Your little girl is growing up.
Mom, why is it hard to make new friends?
Dad, why do I miss being at home?

Dad, why does my heart skip a beat when he looks in my eyes?
Mom, why do my legs tremble when I hear his voice?
Mom, why is being "in love" the greatest feeling in the world?
Dad, why did he leave me? Mom, why it’s hurt so much?
Mom, why do I think too much?

Mom, Dad.. I love you

To be Free

To fly, to soar
And see the world, like never before,
To skip, to run
Having no worries, having fun,
To visualize, to see
The beauty around, the beauty of me,
To expeience, to feel
Bountiful feelings, all real,
To live, to love
Cherishing life, the gift from above,
To accept, to surrender
Loving myself unconditionally forever,
To express, to grow
To stretch, to show,
To be,
To be free,
Is to be,
To be me…

By : Ariff

Desire

You can’t ever get everything you want. It is impossible.

Luckily, there is another option:

You can learn to control your mind, to step outside of this endless cycle of desire and aversion.

You can learn not to want what you want, to recognize desires but not be controlled by them….